


In Circles

by ishre_yann



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, everything is really vague, this is my first fanfiction in english
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3556553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishre_yann/pseuds/ishre_yann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"The machine is always cold.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>He does not even remember what cold -or warm- means.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>So he just stay there. He sits down as he is told to.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Again.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>His head is not his anymore."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Circles

 

> **IN CIRCLES**

 

 _We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine_  
_And the machine is bleeding to death_  
_The sun has fallen down_  
_And the billboards are all leering_  
_And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles_  
[Godspeed You Black Emperor - The Dead Flag Blues]

 

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

Void.  
All he knows about this place.  
Void.  
It is not alive. It is not dead. It is nothing but empty.  
_Who are you?_  
I don’t know.  
_Where are you?_  
I don’t know.  
_What are you?_  
I don’t kn  
A punch.  
_Try again._  
His mind is empty.  
_Try. Again._  
His mind is too empty.

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

The silence is interrupted by something he doesn’t remember.  
Pain is not a problem.  
Pain is more the only real thing.  
He doesn’t respond.  
He does truly not know what he should respond.  
_Try again._  
Try again what.  
_What are you?_  
A flash of pain.  
Again.  
_Answer._  
What is he?  
A Number.  
_Next._  
He does not want to answer.  
Opening his mouth is too hard.  
He is tired of that.  
They told him not to.  
Why do they want him to talk?  
_Name code._  
Asset.  
_Who do you answer to?_  
You.  
_Who. Do you answer to?_  
. . .  
_WHO._  
H.Y.D.R.A.

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

His mind is empty.  
He does not know how long it is he’s in there.  
It is cold. And Silent. And now..

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

Water.  
He is not sure if that is the right word, but.  
_What are you?_  
Asset.  
_Don’t speak._  
He does not have to speak.  
 _That’s it. He can follow orders._  
He does not have to speak, unless told to.  
_Let’s proceed._  
A door opens.  
A man comes in, bounded.  
He’s shaking.  
_Kill him._  
He hesitates.  
_Now._  
He does not even nod.  
He remembers his footsteps as if he was in another room of his brain.  
He remembers a vague feeling.  
Wet. Red. Kneaded.  
He remembers his footsteps while he is returning where he was santing five minutes before.  
_How long?_  
Five minutes.  
He does not have to speak.  
Someone does speak for him.  
It is always been like this.   
_Another session, then he can go._  
That means..   
_What?_  
He does not have to speak.  
But  
_Pain, yes. You need it._  
For what.  
A sigh.  
_Wipe him. We have to start over._  
Start over.  
_He’s_  
Not ready.  
_He will_  
Not ready.

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

The machine is always cold.  
He does not even remember what cold -or warm- means.  
So he just stay there. He sits down as he is told to.  
_Again._  
His head is not his anymore.  
Discharges come through his flesh.  
Pain.  
He remembers pain.  
And pain is not good.  
Pain means he did wrong.  
_Again._  
He need this.  
He needed this.   
He will need this.  
_Again._  
He is tired.  
He need this.  
But he is tired.  
And this is important.  
But he can not take it.  
_Again._  
Not again.  
His mind is not his anymore.  
Then he remembers.  
Everything.  
Suddenly.  
It’s bright.  
It blinds him.  
It stuns him.  
_Bucky._  
Bucky.  
Yes. Bucky.  
Everything is there.  
Everything he’s been looking for.  
Right there.  
Over his tolerance average.  
It’s everything right there.  
And it’s fear what catches him.  
Fear and terror, when everything starts fading away.  
_Bucky. Bucky Barnes. James. Steve._  
It goes all away.  
He does not remember what.  
But it is good now.  
White.  
Pain.  
It has stopped.  
And his mind.  
His mind is back.

 _Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._  
_Whimp._

Void.  
The same, familiar sense of emptiness.  
All he knows about this place.

**Author's Note:**

> Wheo, this is my first english FanFiction, so be patient if you notice some mistakes and stuff, it's not really my mother language, sooo..  
> I just hope you like that, even if it's really short *33*
> 
> Anyway! I have a tumblr account, which is [here](http://hikku.tumblr.com/) and I pretty much exist there, so.. yeah, If I forget about this/don't reply to eventual comments/whatever you want well.. my askbox is open!
> 
> Thanks for reading, anyway <3


End file.
